Finding it difficult to be inspired these days.
I’m doing pretty okay in most aspects of my life, I recently had a little snippet of good news through the mailer. I have time for pursuits outside of work. But why is it that I fail to derive pleasure or happiness from things that I used to enjoy doing?
Maybe something is missing.
Dear girl,
Today you retraced your steps, and to your horror, you made the mistakes that you've made again and again, thus opening the door and welcoming the damage.
Yet you could not comprehend how you could have allowed this stupidity to rear its ugly head yet again. For days you pondered, to no avail. At work behind the screens, at rest amongst the trees, at leisure, supposed leisure, your body delves into the depths of the waters, yet not as deep as the rut in your heart.
Today I thought of the people I’ve loved and the people I’ve missed.
Today I thought about baggage, and how the weight of one’s past can cause his present to cave in.
Today I thought about regrets..
Today I wrote a letter to Chichi, and I felt relieved.
So much that I’m contemplating getting my own oven.
A couple of months ago I moved into my new place in the central plains (not Mongolia, please hor). The new flat is about half the size (which is not something I mind too much), pretty well-equipped and well-ventilated (woah, good feng shui!).
It would have been perfect if we had an oven, but since we’ve already extorted the landlady to buy us a microwave, I decided not to push my boundaries too far.
But boy, do I miss baking 
I was going through old photos on Facebook and reminisced about the strawberry cheesecakes I baked for my beloved fellow HOs in CGH – such joy to channel one’s stress through baking – with the beaming smiles of hungry friends as a bonus!
I miss baking so much that I’m contemplating buying my own oven – how, should I? Mum’s the usual penny-savvy one, but she let slip “maybe you can get a little oven so you can continue baking” – I guess she knows too.
It’s been 3 months since we’ve moved into the new place. Everyone’s pretty much settled in. Life has finally settled into it’s comfortable plateau, and I wonder when the next peak (or trough) will be.
We’ve found a new friend in Jane, and newly defined roles in Mel and Fio. Jane’s pretty much the mild-mannered and temperate girl (i.e.perfect housemate). As for Mel and Fio… Well, if you read Ernest Ng’s comic blog, you’ll pretty much get a feel of what life is like with these nutcases around.
I’ve just finished my MMed Part I and goodness know where that will take me. Pass or not, que sera, sera. I’ve learnt and now know better than to worry about things beyond my control.
Maybe it’s time to look for new little adventures.
